The sign

For a few moments he let me hold him

he held me in return

confused, then angry, then docile, then he'd remember the awful, awful truth

He would heed no warnings

but, for a few moments he let me hold him.

He let me rub his back as he lay, spent on the floor

the dogs barked,

the policemen arrived and filled our home

taking in the quiet scene before them

then one knelt and felt his ankle as if to check a pulse

they had him up

and cuffed

and out the door at dawn's break

he stared straight ahead

when the car pulled away I threw up my hand thumb, pointer and pinky

"I Love You!"

He didn't look

I'm not really surprised

But I did it anyway

Cause that's what we do.

Figuring Things Out

     The alarm went off early.  That's not that unusual, even for a saturday because Darryl often forgets (insert usually) to turn off his alarms.   Today, however, was not an oversight...today he and Michael are going squirrel hunting.

     But since I was awake I climbed out of bed and padded down to make coffee and think.   About God.  Just think.

     I love the early morning because all the "duty" is removed from me and I feel peaceful...or raw looking for peace.  Either way, it's my time to quit the flighty,  shallow mode of  waitress in the morning rush  at Waffle House.  

     I spend so little time here that I wonder if the waitress is REALLY who I am! and THIS a farce!  I know....that is kind of up to me.   Each day--each moment we get to choose.

    This Summer I'm choosing to spend time in Psalm 119.  I pray that God will, through it,
                        "Turn my heart toward His statutes....my eyes away from worthless things..."
 
    Well...not ALL the duty is removed.  I owe it to God to at least do this.   Open His word.  Be quiet.
      LISTEN.



                                               

Lovely Ladies

 

 

 Easter Morning...Sisters...He is Risen!.....He is Risen indeed!

A Piece of Me is Missing

    I charish that smile.  That rambunctious energy.   What did I do to lose your heart?   I did you wrong son!   Too hard.  Too little understanding.   Too harsh.   I grieve for what sweetness there was back in those days when Our roots were North.  Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, cousins, Friends.   Simpler times.   I used to live with NO REGRETS!   And Now I feel FULL of them. 
                          GOD!
If My heart must break, break it for YOUR use!

Can you use me still?   Can you repair what the 'locusts' have eaten?
You can...I believe that.

You are a great and loving God! There is no shadow of turning with you!   Thou changest not thy compassions they fail not!  Great is THY faithfulness LORD unto me.


This night, Bless him and Keep him--make your face to shine upon him and give him peace.
Make him YOURS.

Shiloh

 lI want to go home.  I am 'home' technically, but Alabama feels  like home.  A place carved out of the side of a lakeside hill by a woman seeking a place to meet with God in her grief.   Shiloh.   She called it Shiloh.  There she wrestled thru the loneliness, and grief, and stood with hands on hips watching as a tornado hooked left at last minute--leaving her unscathed.  Shiloh.  God met with her there.  Hiding her as in a cleft of a rock...
She made this place a place of great beauty.   She welcomed many-gave generously and those who parttake sense God's presence.  

Shiloh is  a gift.  God's gift to the weary soul.

You are a giver of awesome Gifts.   Thank you!

July 1st, 2015

   This is going to be a busy month.   The 4th of July celebrations are right around the corner.   Darryl's 50th birthday...Jack's Graduation/Send off Party...our 26th wedding anniversary...and a trip to Ohio to meet up with the girls.   Those are OUR plans.   God, however, may something else in mind.  But until that becomes evident, I ask His blessing on these events celebrating the ones we love and the things we are thankful for.

Puppy Sitting

Smitten!

           

                                                                                                  ...We'll miss you little pups!

Friends

   We had a great meal last night.  Bratwurst that had been slow cooked in Sam Adams Summer Brew all day then grilled...and other yummy summer fare.   We had a great meal because we had friends over!   This morning my heart is full!

The Fawn

It might well have been a once in a lifetime experience...

for me at least,  James is an explorer...he might experience finding a baby animal in need of rescue

again--I hope so!  It was so cool to see and hold a baby this young. 

All previous experience has been through photographs.   Now when I see on photo of a fawn, 

I'm going to remember how fragile and sweet they are.

I will recall how silky it's fur was and bony! Running my hands down the body of

this little guy revealed  a tiny little body with little fat, covered

with silky fur.   No scent.  Nothing offensive.

               James found him while kayaking on the Harpeth around the Biven's stretch and evidently the poor little guy had fallen in the river where the bank was too steep and couldn't get out.  I'm so proud of him for saving it!   I think next time he will by-pass bringing it home and try looking for it's home...it's a pretty sobering responsibility--a little life is--Mama is best suited for the job.

"My soul doth magnify the Lord"

47 years old, 2 daughters in college, a son graduating from high school in about 2 weeks and I'm pregnant.   It IS true that I'm not unaccustomed to being the mother of young people...as there are 6 more children here at home ranging from 16 to 4 years old but I thought with all the miscarriages and strange, sputtering things happening with my body that my child bearing years were, indeed, over.

Mary the mother of Jesus had a story too. Hers presented from the other end of the pendulum swing though.   She was young (some say VERY young) she was unmarried, She had never been with a man.

To be honest, that last part I feel like I share in common with her.   Our home was in crisis mode with a son, that kept THIS husband and wife in our own worlds, just trying to survive.  Yet with no ability to recollect a time when we didn't drag our selves to bed just to find the escape of sleep before the next hard day began,  somehow God saw fit to give us a new little life! (at least for now) 

I am tired and old.  And yet, this new life!   I have had to reach deep drink from the Mountain Spring during this crisis with son,  And He has been oh, so faithful!   He has met me repeatedly in my need.   John Piper writes that God IS the kind of God who is pleased by the one thing I have to offer:  Thirst!  A sinner delights God when we depend on His strength!

Oh! I am proud and selfish.   Yet in this life-game of chess God has been maneuvering and now has me in glorious check-mate!   I am not comfortable with this crying "Uncle"-stuff!   Yet where was I going with my life when all was calm?  

Fiona and Megan at the pool

June 6th

Megan came home for the weekend and while Darryl and the big boys worked on finishing the deck, I took Meg, Fiona,
Cole and Michael to Maryland Farms.

Making Birthday Pie

     Today is June, 13th.   It's Alex's 20th Birthday.  And as a very
a special member of our family Fiona and I are celebrating him
by making one of his favorite desserts: Fruit Pie!   Blueberry,
Strawberry and a mixed fruit pie are in the oven smelling
wonderful!

We're never really sure when Alex will be around...and even
know that he's not celebrating with us today,  but if by chance he
does  come through today, we'll get caught in a good way!
Remembering him, Celebrating him, loving him.

 These are the God-given moments to practice giving with no hope of reciprocation.    Loving without expectations.
Serving when no one is noticing.    God sees and He is wonderfully teaching us all important
lessons along the way some of which might never have been learned any other way.

"Rejoice and be Glad!   ...for the Lord God is your exceeding great reward!"

The Babies

We have ferns hanging between the posts on our front porch and happily a Finch family decided

 to make one their home!  We love birds!  This little nest had 5 eggs but it looks like only 2

babies remain... 

They hunker down  when the folks are out gathering food then when Mama or Pop

lands back on the side of the nest, their little heads reach for the sky--mouths wide open!  They went from looking, well, dead!   to these cute little fuzzballs that are developing primary feathers.

Can you  imagine this church a hundred years ago?  I can.  I can imagine a family getting 

dressed up in the best they had--ties, shoes, hats--walking the distance it took

to join other family and neighbors here. I can see it at night with the golden glow

streaming from the windows casting shadow and light on the ground.

I can imagine the dressing of the greens for Christmas!  Pine boughs at each window and candle in a hurricane chimney. Carols being sung on Christmas Eve.  And Families exchanging homemade gifts wrapped in calico as they parted for the walk toward home.   Cold air, snow crunching under foot.

I can imagine it on just the ordinary plain Sunday,  Children sitting with parents on hard pews  not daring to squirm.   Hearing the Gospel simple and true.  Finding comfort in the richness of Bountiful provision of family, shelter, food, Faith.

Simple.

Solid.

The Meeting

    I can see it in her face.   "Our" Bekah is happy!  
We've heard so much about Joshua and this weekend we finally got a chance to meet him.   A crew of friends met up here at a rental cabin--Bekah up from Florida, Emily out from Virginia, Joshua over from Marshall, Missouri and a bunch of his friends, I think, from Texas.
   After a Sunday lunch and a bonus meeting when Emily had to come back here to get her wallet, I deem Him  a really nice, considerate, easygoing guy.   The journey continues....

Joshua and Bekah